I do not like to run in the rain. I think I may have PTSD from the Mt. Rushmore marathon a couple of years ago. It was cold and rainy for the entire 26.2 miles and it was plain brutal.
So when I stepped outside this morning to run and felt it sprinkling, that familiar dread (cold and wet–noooo!) crept up and I nearly turned around and said screw it. But I decided that since I got all dressed and was already outside, I may as well give it a go. I could always come back home earlier than I anticipated if I couldn’t deal. So I got going. Along the way, I passed a guy walking a beautiful boxer puppy and he looked at me and said, “You’re outrunning the rain.” I said something like, “I’m trying to, at least.”
I shouldn’t have put my mouth on it because as I turned to run up the hill, the wind and rain spat in my face. Somewhere along the way, though, I found my (slow) stride and decided that I could do an hour. And I convinced myself that I wouldn’t melt even if it poured.
I always feel more energized and ready for my day if I exercise first thing in the morning. Lately I’ve really been missing my 2 hour Saturday jogs around town. I was looking through my journal last night and this time last year I was logging 35-40 miles per week. I miss doing higher mileage in general but think that I have a better balance at this point. My body still refuses to cooperate with me, but hubs has come up with a cute way to look at things. He says that I’m a higher being, a bionic woman of sorts who can turn on and off her various womanly functions.
All things considered, though, my health has only gotten better in the last 3+ years and I’m so thankful for that. I think in the past, I probably was trying to outrun something or other. I’m pretty sure that I functioned on high adrenaline due to stress for a good 8 years. And my body was pretty beat up by the time I was done with residency.
So maybe that’s what this morning was about. Not so much about outrunning the rain, but trying to fit in and find a rhythm with Mother Nature. It’s nice to feel a bit more relaxed about running in general. I don’t have a prescribed amount of miles per week much less tempo runs, hill repeats and goal times. I’m amazed at how easy it is for me to be very rigid with myself and how hard it’s been to be more relaxed. Maybe I’m just getting old and lazy but this feels different than that. I’m still working out but now I consider walking, pilates and yoga along with running, elliptical, and weight training as exercise.
I don’t have all of me figured out (not sure if I ever will), but I feel like I’m on the right track, heading for balance. It’s a relief to be quite honest.
No Yogi tea today. I had chai green tea with milk instead and it was a delicious change of pace.
Change is good sometimes.