As you might know, I live in La-La land. Sure, we have news broadcasts but for the most part, even our news in L.A. is mostly ridiculous. There’s not really a need, per se, for weather people on our news, but we have a boatload of them. My favorites are Johnny Mountain and Dallas Raines.
They are very tan and very smiley. I would be too if my job entailed a 2 minute blurb in which I break the news that it will be sunny, yet again, today. They try to mix it up a bit in their 7 day forecasts: Sunny and mild (temps in the 70s), Unseasonably cool (temps in the 70s), Breezy and warm (temps in the 70s), Partly sunny (temps in the 70s). Ok, so we do have some weather here occasionally, but nothing to really worry about (except rain, in which case I avoid driving altogether…don’t get me started on this).
I will admit, though, that it does get rather cold at night (in the 40s). The reason it’s so cold has more to do with lack of building insulation (and for us, no furnace) than anything else. To warm us up in our frigid house, I made some veggie chili and chips for dinner.
I didn’t intend to go off on a weather tangent. But the weather people are pretty damn funny. Really, what I wanted to talk about is our newspaper. The good old LA Times. I read it regularly Thursday through Sunday (that was the best subscription deal and any more “news” than that I really don’t need). On Thursday, our LA city section had front page coverage of the Grammy nominees with a picture of Eminem. I know, hard hitting news, right?
Today I was reading through a world news section and came upon a “late briefing” that is just too funny [read: effed up] not to share. So within mini-stories of the U.S. and Japan military exercise, Guinea’s election winner, a huge pile-up in New York was an article out of Idaho with this heading:
KKK Snowman Draws Heat
So aparently, this white separatist guy built a snowman in the shape of a KKK member on his front lawn. “Kootenai County sheriff’s deputies told Mark Eliseuson on Wednesday that he could be charged with a crime because the 10-foot tall snowman was holding what appeared to be a noose. Neighbors called the deputies…..Idaho defines such as nuisance as anything “offensive to the senses”….It went on to say that “Eliseuson also angered neighbors at Halloween when he passed out bullet casings, saying he had run out of candy.”
I don’t find this funny but rather perverse. What I find humorous is that they actually printed this in the paper. Really? This is news? I feel sorry for the neighbors of this guy. He sounds like a piece of work. I wonder if they had suspected that he wasn’t all there before they sent their kids up to his door asking for candy. I hope none of the kids thought the bullet was a candy. Ouch.
With the paper also came a “Healthy Style” supplement from Parade Publications. I won’t even tell you what I generally think of Parade, although I always feel the need to flip through it and see what kind of filler they are printing. There was one “Healthy Notes” about laptops:
Keep Your Laptop Off Your Lap
Apparantely, placing the laptop directly on your thighs can cause a burning, itchy rash. This news came from a study out of Switzerland. Why they needed a formal study on this is beyond me. They are calling this condition “toasted skin syndrome” and the skin may be permanently damaged from this.
Is it just me or would you probably have an idea that, gee, my legs feel super hot—maybe it’s not a great idea to rest my laptop directly on my body–before letting it progress to the burning, itchy rash and discolored skin?
Back to funnies. We took a chance on a potentially funny movie last night. And won.
Great soundtrack, silly ridiculous humor (some of it bathroom based) and not too long. Two and a half thumbs up. I think you’d find this funny even if you don’t remember the ’80s. But I think you’d probably be into it more if you really lived during that era. I wasn’t a teenager yet but I remember what they wore and people being named Chaz and Blaine. Priceless.
Anything funny happening for your Friday? If not, what do you remember about the ’80s?