Carpet Bombed

Somehow they just know. I suppose it’s the chance you take after giving your car a thorough washing. But this particular bird was on a mission. Friday I parked my car outside for no more than a few hours and came back to find this:

This was no mere bird. No. This was some kind of olestra-eating, Alli-popping massively incontinent orinthological specimen. I mean, look at it. It didn’t just shit on the car. It shat all over the window, on the side mirror and down the passenger door.

Gold stars all around if you got the movie reference (although in proof reading this I see a couple of different references). If not, for the love of god, please watch this movie. 

I consider this movie a litmus test of sorts. In the wise words of my fantastic s.i.l.: if you don’t like this movie, it’s a deal-breaker.

I started to get a little paranoid yesterday that maybe this bird is out for revenge against me. I’m not sure what I could have possibly done to this anal-leaking bird, but I nearly got bombed yesterday morning during my run. First the car, then nearly my head. Maybe I’ll start wearing a hat around the ‘hood.

What are your deal-breakers?

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6 Comments

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6 responses to “Carpet Bombed

  1. I had never heard of that movie. Now I feel like I must see it.

    Birds are quite a hazard. There is a hawk that lives in the tree over my car. I could handle bird poop. Instead, it drops half-eating animals carcasses to rot around/on/in my vehicle.

  2. Whaaaaaaaaahaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaa, this made me laugh so hard! 😀

  3. Sorry, it’s tragical, of course. You and the bird. Tragically funny. 😉

  4. basia

    Haha, I’m sorry but I laughed. Hard. That bird had it in for you. That kind of thing always makes me pissed. I mean, I don’t go shit in the bird’s nest, why does he shit on my car?
    It’s a Polish tradition that if a bird shits on you, it’s good luck. Sounds kind of hard to believe looking at your car door, but maybe something good will come out of it.

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